Dexter might have had its moments as a television show, but it was never confused for a top-shelf parenting manual. However, not only did it share a brilliant piece of parental advice, but it came from a most unlikely of characters: the Trinity Killer. John Lithgow’s mass murderer might have had his problems (most of which Dexter Morgan solved for him), but he did have a pretty viable facade of domestic bliss, and heck, other than the abusive outbursts, he was probably a pretty decent dad.

The advice he gave was sound: Make traditions for your family. Year after year they will become more and more meaningful. Now that I have two little ones under four, we’re executing on a lot more of these traditions, and this was the year for the Trail of Lights at Zilker Park. This 15-day extravaganza was reborn a few years ago with corporate sponsors, and wouldn’t you know it, a way to skip all the lines. It’s a very popular event, and like everything in this town, the lines are Austin-tacious.

The key to said line-skippage? Money. Specifically $15 per adult (plus parking) to get into the event 45 minutes early. Sign me up! A special area to eat as well as decent bathrooms were also a part of the deal. The trip down was enough of a traffic-y adventure that we only got in 30 minutes in advance, but even then, we saw an enormous line of people waiting in line for display after display of sponsored, light-engulfed goodness. That was the moment I realized my privilege. If I had walked up to that line, I would have turned right back around and went home. After a corn dog, of course. This is really two different events: one for those that can afford to cut in line, and those that will wait. Once in, the latter group will jostle for position, trying to get their little ones a view of all the pretty lights.

This is nothing new. VIP options abound for events of all kinds. Even our main westside highway will soon have an express lane with escalating tolls to help those of us who live north to get downtown without all the bother of sitting in traffic. I’m lucky enough to be able to afford these things, and if I wasn’t, I’d be on the other side of the velvet rope. I wonder if I’d look at other-me with disdain?

Next up: The Nutcracker at the Long Center. See you there! Or not.